24.11.23
Bring on the bloat. Fast X is simultaneously one of the most heavy-knuckled but pointlessly lightweight films I’ve seen in years. It mindlessly sets up set piece after set piece, just to smash them all into fodder, and inexcusably tries to enlist every character possible, even one we thought had died (again). Its primary purpose is not to entertain, but instead build to the inevitably disappointing sequel and closing outing of the entire film series.
Even more frustrating are the film’s villains. The exact moment we meet Aimes and Dante on screen, it’s so glaringly obvious they will serve as this film’s generic, cardboard cutout villains. As Dante, Jason Momoa is a homo-erotic, embarrassing imitation of Heath Ledger’s Joker; an evil baddie who just does dumb shit for no reason apart from the cause of chaos. Additionally, the number of times the filmmakers conveniently ‘flip’ old villains into allies has become the most unrealistic and lazy plot contrivance in cinematic history. I’m also bored with the distracting shoehorning of John Cena and Brie Larson into token roles that add little value or purpose other than stale star power.
At least we get half a good street race, a satisfactory diverting showpiece in Rome and some mildly impressive scenes with Jason Statham’s Deckard. But as a long-time fan who admired the focused, street racing thrills of the original and got back on board for the global adventures starting with Fast Five, I’m afraid Fast X finally seals this franchise’s coffin shut for me. Saving this waning series would require major changes, but Fast XI will likely just deliver more of the same overblown action devoid of any substance. What began as a guilty pleasure has now become a pointless exercise in franchise fatigue.