25.12.23
I’m not mad Ben, I‘m just disappointed. Hollow, boring and not funny despite trying so hard to be, Meg 2: The Trench is one of 2023’s biggest letdowns. What should have been an exciting romp on the ocean floor instead falls flat thanks to a dull script and immense lack of directorial flair. The megalodons, which should be the stars, feel totally marginalised as the turgid human drama takes hold.
What’s most astounding is that this second outing comes from director Ben Wheatley, known for his dark satire, British stylings and taut storytelling. None of that is evident here: the attempts at humour are tone-deaf, the ‘action’ spreads thinly across locations in a poor Fast and Furious impression, and any tension gets sucked away by endless “check this out” lines of lame dialogue. Having the protagonists disconnected across different geographical locations is such a cliche we’ve seen overused by the huge franchise films of the last decade or so. It might be the worst film I’ve seen this year simply for hugely bellyflopping its potential into the fucking sea.
The cynic in me sees the relationship between Statham’s Jonas Taylor, his teenage stepdaughter Meiying and her uncle Jiuming, who ludicrously fancies himself as somewhat of a shark tamer, as appealing to the lowest common denominator and for the Chinese market. Their terrible sitcom-like chemistry suggests the franchise could lurch in an even more painful direction next. Wheatley brings none of his trademarks to Meg 2 and instead delivers a film that is tediously lacklustre and utterly humourless. Give me Sharknado 7 over Meg 3, any day of the week.